Country Music

Do you think
If a hardcore
Gangsta
Rapper
Put on a cowboy hat
And rapped with a drawl,
That it would be considered
Country music?
Most people would say
"No"
But they would be wrong,
Because It
Would,
And I would still
Hate
Country Music.

Sick

I was sick this weekend.
Pretty sick,
Like 102 temp.
Which is a lot for me
Because I've never really had a fever before.
I stayed in bed all weekend.
Like, literally 20 hours a day.
It was kind of cool though,
Just laying around like my dogs do all day long,
With nothing to worry about,
No cares at all.
Except the fact that I felt like Hell
And wanted to die.

I really thought that I wouldn't mind
Dying,
And I wasn't really even that sick.

During one of the four hours that I was up this weekend
I watched a Discovery Channel special
About this couple who was lost at sea,
And they survived for 100 days off turtles, fish, and rainwater.

Unicorns

O.M.G.!
I am so normal.
I use the same abbreviations as everyone else
Like R.O.T.G.L.
Even though I've never actually laughed
So hard
That I had to roll on the ground,
And I like all the current POP bands,
And I don't like classical music
Even though I do.
But I am an individual.
I am unique and different in some sort of way.
I'll prove it.
I just turned 30
And realized I don't really exist
On my own,
So I'll decide that I LOVE UNICORNS.
I L.O.V.E. them.
I will collect an ungodly amount of them for the rest of my life
And EVERYONE will know that I am the
Unicorn Lady.
Because that's who I AM.
Unicorns DEFINE me.
And Oprah, Craig Kilborn and PEOPLE magazine
Will let me know
What the rest of my opinions are.

Hurricane

Where do they all come from?
This war-torn battle zone rolls into a raging
Storm.
They swarm around and around
Appearing and reappearing all around me.
I can't tell where they all come from
Even though I'm watching them
with crazed, burning eyes.
Crawling, swarming, pinching, touching,
yelling, running, yelling, shouting, yelling,
asking questions,
asking, asking.
My body begins to shut down, to give up,
My eyes glaze over
And the swarming mass blurs into nothing.
My jaw drops in relaxation
And I pray for snow
As I dismiss my last class for lunch
And lounge my chair back
In the eye of a
Hurricane.

Beanstalks

It cropped out of the dusty ground
And grew and grew like a beanstalk.
Because it was a beanstalk.
Until I started climbing it and realized
That it wasn't a beanstalk at all,
But a ladder
Going from nowhere
To nowhere,
And I'm still making less than $30,000
And going insane.
Beanstalks?
Yah, and next you'll tell me
I'm fit for
Drastic psychological counseling.
Oh, you are telling me that?
Alright, let's do this.

Something New

Welp, here's my new blog.
There's nothing as inspiring as a new blog, all ready for fresh new stuff.
The key is to write the perfect first entry into your perfect new blog, and not go and blow it by writing about what to write.