Shame

I had been driving for 55 hours,
alone
and mostly in silence,
in search of answers,
but really in search of
the one true
question
that lay at the bottom of my soul.

Only when I discovered that question
could I truly listen for an answer.

I was answered that day
in the storm,
but I know now that I have also been answered
my whole life -
in a musical note,
a strange color,
a lightning bolt,
a mountain stream,
a lock of hair swinging from my wife's ear,
only I didn't know what question
was being answered.

Now I have a recurring dream
that I am in a great storm,
only I'm cowering, hiding,
running from the power striking all around me.

I'm terrified of the day
when I will finally summon the courage
and step out into the open field,
arms raised,
to embrace that wild,
unbridled power,
striking me to the core.

I'm terrified,
not that the light will reveal my inadequacies,
but that it will confirm the answers
I have been hearing my whole life.

I am ashamed of my glory.